Here's what I think

Okay, I have to get this off my chest and right now at this very moment, I am very angry with myself. Apparently my writing does indeed suck and now I am very well aware of it. Now I am going to just say that I'm putting away the pen, hanging up the coat, putting it all away. I can see now that life as a philosopher will not be at all beneficial to me. The only way to make a way through this dank world is to make money anyway. The world does not need a positive change and it most certainly does not need me especially to hold its hand and guide it to a positive light. I'm no one as I am now well aware. My writing is literally laughable, I don't see anyone looking at my writing and saying 'Well gee, what have I been thinking about all my life? this guy's totally right, I want to shake his hand". No, instead, the real reaction is a laugh, a giggle, a sly smirk, a conniving grin and the phrase "Holy crap, is this guy for real? This sucks balls!" I know this is terrible, this entire blog's terrible and I started it thinking it could be a good hobby and it could be something fun for myself, but no, this has turned into a realization of my failures, my beloved philosophy compilation book ever pleasing masses of people will be for naught, ever hoping to inspire a younger generation mankind do do good will be for naught, ever making a way in this world and landing a place in literary history is impossible now since anyone can write a book except me.

As for human society, they're all full of themselves and stuck up. They're all saying things like 'homosexuality is an abomination' or 'incest is immoral and disgusting'. Well sex itself is disgusting, be it heterosexual, homosexual, between a man and a child, a woman and her son, a man and corpse or a woman and a freaking bull! Sex is entirely disgusting and any relationship stemming from or towards it should be viewed as disgusting. But it isn't. Society has told you all that homosexuality and all of that other stuff is disgusting, but sex that is meant for the creation of another life is the only beautiful thing in this world. Society has basically told us that we as humans should only ever be attracted to a very, very small part of the globe. In other words, men should only be attracted to women that are not of their own heritage, that are their age or at least within five or ten years of their own age and women should be attracted to men in the same way. you humans can't help but think this a lot of the time, this is why gay marriage is such a big issue in America, because society told you homosexuality was wrong and this and that, get over it. I would say religion, namely the monotheistic religions, also had a hand in the way society thinks but what do I care? My opinion is irrelevant. Religion is nothing more than a mental crutche that is completely unnecessary in this day and age. Bottom line here is: Sex itself is disgusting and humans need to accept the fact that they're all disgusting animals and can't help what they're attracted to and that it's not anyone else's business to correct these people of their nonexistent wrongs.

As for philosophy and transcendentalism, I'm still deeply fascinated by it and I do wish to continue my education after high school to learn more of it, but I just can't make it my life's work, bagging at a grocery store will apparently be my life's work.

There you have it, I'm just going to stop being hopeful and take everything and tell everything just exactly how it is, because no one wants to listen to my garbage.

Making progress

I've noticed something rather interesting over the past two days in school, readers. I think that somehow I may be making astounding progress in my reeducation. Yesterday I was able to convey a valid point during journalism class yesterday. Today I was able to joke around effortlessly with everyone there as well. I do not know if this is actual progress or what, but I feel that this may be a cause for slight celebration. A golf clap, if you will, readers? Yes, so this will probably be a short update on what is going on right now. Monday I will see if this is actual progress being made. If I go up to people and start talking to them without shaking up, it will definitely be progress and in great strides too.

Hoping for more progress,

Yours Truly

Crumbling America day 4: Also a change somewhere

On Body Piercings: How mutilating the body will destroy our nation.... Somehow

Piercings to me always looking like these individuals were making themselves out to be human pin cushions. To me, the amount of piercings on a person's body also told of the level of sanity within that said individual. Say for instance that a person were to have four piercings on each ear. I would say that person is possibly a little crazy. The position of a piercing also tells of the level of sanity to me too, if you have a piercing on your eyebrow, I'd get you a therapist, if you have seven piercings on your eye brow, I would check you into a mental hospital because at that point, i would be worried for your sanity. Also nose piercings are something I have always disliked. Something about me throws them off. In cartoons, I always thought a bull would be the only thing to have a nose piercing considering in the cartoons I'd watch that had bulls, they would be hulking beasts of brute strength and comically short tempered in my opinion. When I saw humans with nose piercings for the first time, I literally thought 'What's that person doing trying to be a bull?". Such was my younger, pre-transcendental mind. Then I found out about other piercings on the body and I was simply disgusted by this idea that people could get what appears to me to be a tiny point metal rod shoved through these parts of their bodies that don't need to be....bedazzled like a pair of jeans being handled by a clinically insane girl with a bedazzlement gun thingy whatever they're called...
Now, when it comes to the ear lobes being pierced just once on each side, that's fine to me, I respect earrings because they have always been around civilizations.....or at least that's what Hollywood says....I do not wish to research something as stupid as earrings in the ancient world. Aside from that, earrings to me can be pretty sometimes. As for lip piercings, do not get me started on those. For starters, they always looked to me like that person got the receiving end of an otherwise horrible fishing accident. Also, how could anyone hope to be able to kiss anyone with a pierced lip? As for tongue piercings, It always makes me squeamish to see them. I rather like my own tongue and I rather like tasting the things I like eating, and I also enjoy talking too, however rare that would be. However, my generation and other generations behind my generation seem to like the idea of mutilating their body with tiny metal pointy objects and that to me somehow spells doom for the nation. Imagine if you are employed by a lazy dour-looking person with his eyebrows lined with tiny rings, his ears bedazzled with pierces, a few lip piercings and maybe a nose and a tongue piercing, would you rather work for that man? I'd rather punch him in the face because I could not possibly stand to look at him directly or withstand the intense urges to punch him in the face however painful punching a face full of metal could be. Instead, I would rather be employed by a person whose pants were worn correctly and so on and so forth from personal image. This is unfortunately all I have for this blog update, but this one's a first for me.

A word from the writer:

This update's a first for me, considering the essay, Crumbling America is being changed to the more sophisticated sounding The Destruction of a Once Great Nation. With that said, the segment on body piercings was started last June nearing the end of the school year and was only one sentence in in my philosophy compilation book so the entire segment you've just read was entirely pulled from my mind so of course it was witty and clever this time around because I am usually witty and clever even though in this blog, I've probably never made it out that I was witty, clever and sarcastic. As for my piece on why I am so anti-social, that was an essay written clearly with being published to this blog in mind. You could come up to me at any point in time and even ask me to see the original essay in its hand written form and it will sure enough be all or mostly the same as in the blog. It's something I'd like to call, a DTB, Direct To Blog essay. Perhaps i will write more DTBs in the future? perhaps not, goodness knows what I have in store. I could probably assure you that The Destruction of a Once Great Nation day 5 will certainly be a DTB simply because I do not have any pens with erasable ink that I specifically wanted at the beginning of the school year because I insist on using pens with erasable ink to write in my philosophy compilation book and not pencil because my book is always being taken out and being put into my book bag and the pages are always being turned and somewhere, somehow, anything I have written with pencil lead, smears the pages and obscures the hand written text. Day 5 will also be my take on the rise in crime rate unless I go back and read my book and find that I was terribly out of place and may have skipped a couple sections and include those sections in the coming days.

I hope you liked it,

Yours Truly

Talking about philosophy

I wanted to let you readers in on other fields of philosophy that I knew about. Here are three others that I know about.

Physicalism

Dualism


Idealism

First of, physicalism is the sole idea that the mind is within the body and that it is physically in your brain, key word there, physical. Most of my ideas about the human mind come from this field of philosophy.

Second is dualism, the idea that the mind is in a completely separate realm from your body. This idea sort of goes in with the transcendentalists' beliefs. A transcendentalist believes that the mind transcends the human body and that it is more spiritual in nature. This isn't what I believe because of science even though I'm a transcendentalist by all other accounts so I can basically say I'm 95% transcendentalist.

Idealism. Idealism is the philosophy field in which it is solely based on ideas, no matter how far-fetched or how close to home they are. My first essay was based on the understandings and principles of idealism as I had called it an idealist essay before since I had not yet proclaimed myself to be a transcendentalist.

There you go readers. A little crash course on three fields of philosophy that I at least have the gist of. Feel free to look more into them on your own time, I encourage it. They're good stuff.

Later friends,

Yours Truly

Another wacky dream

I realize that this is quickly turning into my dream blog....

I took a nap about an hour ago, during that nap, I had a very strange dream. It started when I was leaving the high school, but I was very scoial, I said "Bye" to just everyone I saw. As I was leaving the school building and walking down a set of stairs, I became consciously aware of my dream. I was thinking to myself "Am I dreaming right now? Is this a continuation of the dream with the Asian killer?". Split second later, I'm in a guy's house, and I opened a door to this long room. The room was filled with shades of blue. And I remember smelling gas in the room. I knew it was gas because it smelled exactly like the gas used by the gas stoves in the culinary lab in the school. I was going through the room and I noticed that there was a group of people all sitting on the floor and their faces expressed fear. What I knew was that a man named Erik Richards was the owner of the house I was in and I was there to see him. Among the group was the man that was to be Erik Richards and my brother. They were hostages of a man as the end of the room, where my brother was sitting and he was sitting near the wall nearest the door and he had some sort of contraption that let off sparks and to his left, was a pipe thing that was leaking the gas and my brother told me to get down and that the man was Erik's brother and he was crazy. I knew I wasn't putting up with another hostage situation so I decided to crawl over to the guy and pull on the gas pipe thing and I remember how it felt sort of warm as well and it had that hard kind of plastic feel too it. Then I pulled on it, backed away, got up and booked to the door, opened it, got out and quickly closed the door behind me, I was snickering and for some reason I high tailed it out of a long hall way and screamed "Help! Fire!" as I was running and I got to a glass door that from what I could see, led to a wooden gate and I open the door and put my leg over the gate in an attempt to jump the gate, but I quickly debated whether or not to jump because I did not look over the gate to see how high it was, so I decided not to, then I remember casually going into a room where it had a huge TV that had something on, I could quite tell, but here was this young girl with a cat and so I said hell to her and she said "Hi" and introduced herself as Helen Richards, which it then clicked in my mind that this girl was Erik Richards' daughter, but what amazed me was that she knew that her father was trapped with his brother in another room of the building, and slowly being gassed alive. I don't even think she ever bothered making a telephone call to emergency services to get help either because she knew that her father was being held hostage in his own home because at the last moment of my dream, she told me "Erik... is burning" in the most nonchalant of tones I've ever heard and I was even petting the cat and noticing how soft its fur was. Then the dream just faded out like a film burning away and it got dark, then I woke up.

Why didn't Helen do anything? If the door was unlocked, why didn't everyone gang up and beat up Erik's brother and get out of there to have him arrested by the law enforcement? Why was I so easily able to socialize if I was consciously aware of myself during the dream? Did I make things worse by pulling on the gas pipe? Why did I yell like an idiot while snickering and running down that hallway? Why was I just casually talking to Helen Richards when she and I both could have gotten together to get help? Why was I even sensually aware in my dream? How was I able to feel everything around me so vividly and realistically?

I will never know. But that was one heck of a dream, readers.

Until next time everyone,

Yours Truly

Anti-socialness and me

A good and proper amount, or even most, maybe even all of you have perhaps wanted to know why I am so anti-social. Thus, I will try my best to inform you all so that you could understand my problems with opening up. I may be going a bit too far out of my way with this update, but this is my blog and I will say what I want, it's just your job to read it.
Firstly, I believe that my anti-social behavior came about when I moved from my early childhood home, which is completely understandable, considering I was very young and I was leaving my friends behind and never going to see them again. Now, I realize that when I moved, I also left that very important part of my life, considering a person's childhood may be very important to them and everything and my early childhood is what I consider to be my real childhood, basically infant to maybe 5 or 7, and that's my childhood. Back on the subject of my childhood, I distinctly remember that when I was younger, I was exponentially more social and I consider my social skills, looking back on the little bits and fragments that I remember of my childhood, to be very good, if not normal for a young child. You see, I would talk to everyone I saw and I was carouse the other children around me and I had absolutely no problem with opening up. I remember I was able to hold a conversation with a friend of mine on an entire bus ride to my pre school, something I could never dream of doing today. Even now, to this very day, I consider my childhood to be the very best years of my life.
Secondly, I believe that once I was put on medications to control my hyperactivity(Yes, as calm as I may seem, I have hyperactivity issues), it made it exceedingly difficult to open up again. I also believe that the effects onf the medications that I took over the rest of my life since then, rendered me a little too calm. Again, I may be horribly mistaken, and I am sure that my mother and my grandmother could correct me on this, but I have only one person to blame for all of this, and that is myself.
Third, I believe that I am considerably anti-social and self-contained due to a possibility that maybe I just grew up too fast for my own good. I just believe that I can not make a connection with any sort of teenager near me at all. One, because what teenager today wants to debate the causes of all of the world's leading problems in today's society? Two, what teenager today laments nature's receding bounties> Come on! The rain forest is a beautiful wonderland of nature at its fullest and mankind is ruining it because of its greed. Three, what teenager today even cares, at all, about philosophy. transcendentalism especially? Four, in school, now, I solely wish to focus on myself, my academics and my reeducation of socializing and opening up to the world, so I don't care about making friends with anyone just yet, I have a long way to go. Also, I want to focus on my academics. I know, it's a bit of a shock to you readers, but I do want to do schoolwork now.
Finally, to conclude this update, I feel that I became socially inept because I moved to a new place that totally sucks because most of the kids talk slang and listen to hip hop and want to sell drugs and this and that, al life on medications to control hyperactivity which made me too calm, as well as my own interests being too mature for a normal teenager to comprehend or give a crap about are at least some of the facts as to why I currently distance myself from humanity in person. Although there is a very clear part of me with the strong wish to be able to effectively communicate with others just as I had when I was a small child in preschool. It is a fact of life to have to interact with others and I can not make my dream living going around talking like Stephen Hawkings on a computer because I no longer feel comfortable speaking to people in person. I want to be able to hold pleasant conversations with others, I really do, but it is just out of my reach. This is exactly why this school year, I will make every bit of effort to try and reeducate myself into being able to interact with my peers without feeling completely nervous and stumbling on my words, which I do all of the time when a teacher is talking to me and the class is especially listening in on me talking. Although today in health class, the class went over their goals in life and when it was my turn, I didn't feel nervous at all reading my goals aloud, I didn't feel anything at all, I must be making progress. The world does want to listen to me, but it is only that I can not tell it what it needs to hear.

Thank you for reading,

Yours Truly

Just because...

Readers, by now you must, or must not have been wondering what my plans will be for the next year of my free schooling. Let me just say I have a lot of things I wish to do for my last year of free schooling.

1. I wish to be diligent in my academics during the school year and try not to be lazy at all. It will certainly be hard for me to do, but I must do it this year so I can at least get an actual nod from a college and not spam and junk mail. I wish to major in philosophy and English writing in college and the only way to get this is if a college paid me because I am quite simply, flat broke to begin with.
2. Continue my work on the school newspaper. Simply put, there is still much that I could do for the club and I wish to continue doing it.
3. Go into the talent show. Last year's show was horrendously awful and narrowed to the width of a hair if I must say. All the talent show has been since it started was singing and dancing. The first year it was begun, it had freaking magician and a band performance for crying out loud! I wanted to compete last year but I thought it was cancelled and therefore didn't bother signing on another time because I thought it would have been redundant. I must do this this year because of the fact that I do not want to sit by and turn my hearing aids off from bad singing. I want to inspire a new group of youths to take up the mantle of writing and philosophy, to do this, I must channel my inner transcendentalist and create a speech worthy of lasting memories and profound impacts on the school.
4. Obtain a summer job. I wish to work at six flags for the summer because I wish to buy myself a laptop computer just to have the freedom of usage that goes with it. As of now, I am using a desktop computer and it suits me just fine.
5. Keep up my work in my philosophy compilation book. Yes, the book I was seen all over the school last year scribbling in is my most precious possession, as it is my real voice. Thus, I must be diligent with my work in this book as well if I wish to compile it all into a book that I can unleash onto an unsuspecting public.
6. Interact for once in my no good life. The career I yearn for requires social skills of which I do not possess at this very moment. With that being said, I must try my hardest to connect with people of my age group which would be a very arduous task indeed. How many teenagers do you know today, who aspire to be philosophers or even know what the heck philosophy even is? Most teenagers these days want to go into crime and sell drugs or sell off their own bodies for prostitution and don't give a flying doo-da-day about the world around them and what they could possibly do to change it with their own power.

That should be a good set of goals to acquire for someone as self-contained, shy and anti-social as I am. I really do look forward to the next school year anyway, considering it will be something to do besides nothing.

Until then,

Yours Truly