Anti-socialness and me

A good and proper amount, or even most, maybe even all of you have perhaps wanted to know why I am so anti-social. Thus, I will try my best to inform you all so that you could understand my problems with opening up. I may be going a bit too far out of my way with this update, but this is my blog and I will say what I want, it's just your job to read it.
Firstly, I believe that my anti-social behavior came about when I moved from my early childhood home, which is completely understandable, considering I was very young and I was leaving my friends behind and never going to see them again. Now, I realize that when I moved, I also left that very important part of my life, considering a person's childhood may be very important to them and everything and my early childhood is what I consider to be my real childhood, basically infant to maybe 5 or 7, and that's my childhood. Back on the subject of my childhood, I distinctly remember that when I was younger, I was exponentially more social and I consider my social skills, looking back on the little bits and fragments that I remember of my childhood, to be very good, if not normal for a young child. You see, I would talk to everyone I saw and I was carouse the other children around me and I had absolutely no problem with opening up. I remember I was able to hold a conversation with a friend of mine on an entire bus ride to my pre school, something I could never dream of doing today. Even now, to this very day, I consider my childhood to be the very best years of my life.
Secondly, I believe that once I was put on medications to control my hyperactivity(Yes, as calm as I may seem, I have hyperactivity issues), it made it exceedingly difficult to open up again. I also believe that the effects onf the medications that I took over the rest of my life since then, rendered me a little too calm. Again, I may be horribly mistaken, and I am sure that my mother and my grandmother could correct me on this, but I have only one person to blame for all of this, and that is myself.
Third, I believe that I am considerably anti-social and self-contained due to a possibility that maybe I just grew up too fast for my own good. I just believe that I can not make a connection with any sort of teenager near me at all. One, because what teenager today wants to debate the causes of all of the world's leading problems in today's society? Two, what teenager today laments nature's receding bounties> Come on! The rain forest is a beautiful wonderland of nature at its fullest and mankind is ruining it because of its greed. Three, what teenager today even cares, at all, about philosophy. transcendentalism especially? Four, in school, now, I solely wish to focus on myself, my academics and my reeducation of socializing and opening up to the world, so I don't care about making friends with anyone just yet, I have a long way to go. Also, I want to focus on my academics. I know, it's a bit of a shock to you readers, but I do want to do schoolwork now.
Finally, to conclude this update, I feel that I became socially inept because I moved to a new place that totally sucks because most of the kids talk slang and listen to hip hop and want to sell drugs and this and that, al life on medications to control hyperactivity which made me too calm, as well as my own interests being too mature for a normal teenager to comprehend or give a crap about are at least some of the facts as to why I currently distance myself from humanity in person. Although there is a very clear part of me with the strong wish to be able to effectively communicate with others just as I had when I was a small child in preschool. It is a fact of life to have to interact with others and I can not make my dream living going around talking like Stephen Hawkings on a computer because I no longer feel comfortable speaking to people in person. I want to be able to hold pleasant conversations with others, I really do, but it is just out of my reach. This is exactly why this school year, I will make every bit of effort to try and reeducate myself into being able to interact with my peers without feeling completely nervous and stumbling on my words, which I do all of the time when a teacher is talking to me and the class is especially listening in on me talking. Although today in health class, the class went over their goals in life and when it was my turn, I didn't feel nervous at all reading my goals aloud, I didn't feel anything at all, I must be making progress. The world does want to listen to me, but it is only that I can not tell it what it needs to hear.

Thank you for reading,

Yours Truly